Let’s start with a simple question… What is trust? In a dictionary it’s defined as “have confidence or faith in”. We all have lots of stuff we would say we have confidence in; lots of us would say we have faith in something too, but the reality is that these things have such different meanings to different people. So actually, it’s not that simple a question… so let’s talk about it!

 

Who do you trust? Well, that depends on what trust means to you! But we do all tend to have a few people in our lives who we really do “have confidence or faith in” – certain family members perhaps, or our closest friends… people who we’ve known a long time. Some would say they trust a teacher, or a doctor – and think how much trust people place in surgeons every day… Why? This is a person we barely know, maybe we’ve never even met them before, and yet we trust them with our lives because of what they do for a living. So you can see that we trust loads of different people for loads of different reasons, which makes trust a massive part of life – so what if you’re finding it hard to trust people? In today’s world, we find it increasingly hard to trust. It’s normal to feel that way. It’s normal to worry that that a partner might be unfaithful, or that your friend might not keep your secret… but does the fact that it’s normal make it right? That’s a matter of opinion I suppose, but really we do need to be able to trust the people around us because if we don’t, we end up living our lives afraid of what might be, rather than being happy about what is. How many relationships, friendships, even families break down because of a lack of trust? It’s because without trust everyone becomes a risk to you, and your natural reaction is to distance yourself from that person, which means we can quite often miss out on enjoying something or someone because our past experiences stop us from trusting again. It’s a really difficult barrier to get through, but stick with it and try to rebuild your trust – you could try trusting people with small things at first, and just build yourself up over time… it’ll come to you, and you’ll know who and when you can fully trust again.

 

So, we’ve established that trust is a massive part of our lives. We trust loads of different people in loads of different ways, and for loads of different reasons! Here’s some questions to get you thinking about how trust affects you…

 

Is trust something that has to be earned?
What makes someone trustworthy?
Are you trustworthy?
Why?

 

We think trust is one of the foundations we build our lives on, so it’s really important to understand it and use it… but use it wisely! Don’t be too stingy with it, but don’t be too quick to dish it out either – ultimately you can only go by what you feel is right at any given moment, and beyond that… well you just have to trust!

 

If this is something you’re struggling with, or you’ve got a question or comment about it, send us an email at yc@carersresource.org and we’ll try our best to help you.

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